Emmett Montgomery

This will be the third year in a row that something wonderful will happen to Portland this spring. There will be a festival that will take over the Hawthorne street and over a hundred talented people will mingle and perform. It is something special. Some of the comics are nationally known, others nobody has heard of, but all of them are awesome. This festival has a special place in my heart, not only because it is where I was able to work up the courage to ask my wife to marry me last year but because it is an awkward circus of dreams that celebrates the thing that I feel I was made to do. I am looking forward to the great performances and the fellowshipping with people I don’t get to see enough of. I am glad to be part of this. If you have the ability to make it to Portland this is something you should do. If you happen to attend, find me, high fives and hugs will be on me.

Today is the first day of the 4th annual Week of Fun!, a weeklong comedian run comedy festival that has a lot of love put into it. I will be performing the first two nights and after that hovering around and enjoying the festival. It would be nice to see your face.

for more details:

The Week of Fun on Facebook

The Stranger Suggests (updated daily during the festival)

We all come from different backgrounds and have different holiday traditions. I would like to share something from my culture that I recite every Christmas Eve and let you all know that you will all be in my thoughts tonight.

Oh One in red, oh sainted One,

as you sit upon your icy throne atop the world with your book of judgement open before you,
may you find our names amongst the pages of the righteous and not amongst the pages of the wicked.

Oh One in red, oh bearded One,

as you descend upon us through the cold night air in your chariot drawn by horned beasts with your satchel full of wondrous devices made by the tiny hands of strange and crooked angels,
may you give us the gift of your blessings and not the gift of brimstone, the mark of damnation.

Oh One in red, oh mirthful One,

as you walk through the places of fire and into our homes and stand above our sleeping forms, having dined upon our feeble offerings of milk and sugared cakes,
may you leave our heads uncrushed and our bones unbroken and our bodies unmolested.

Amen

I sincerely hope you all have a great day tomorrow and that we all survive the night.

Happy Holidays

The Holidays are upon us and I wish everyone well. Please enjoy this christmas card made by artist and animator Mark Allendar AKA Pastey Boy. It is my honor to be the voice of the Christmas tree and I hope it fills you with Christmas spirit.

Seattle’s Annex Theatre is one of my favorite places to perform. When they asked me to take part in Not Pants!, a story telling showcase with a story of its’ own, I was delighted.

I will be telling true stories of my youthful misadventures on the Friday the 13th and Friday the 20th that may or may not involve witchcraft, my deflowering and the KGB. Each show will have a handful of some of Seattle’s finest performers. Please consider attending and supporting live performance.

Dear friends,

The month of November has brought me some unique performance opportunities and I would like to share them with you, because you are special to me.

Thursday the  5th – I will be opening for celebrated christian musicians/feel gooders, God’s Pottery at Chop Suey

Friday the 6th- I will be performing in the best variety show/drinking game/prize give-away set in the golden age of tv this city has to offer, Get Loweded at the Rebar.

Friday the 13th- I will be telling Mormon ghost stories as part of the storytelling extravaganza, Not Pants at the Annex theatre

Monday the 16th- I will be hosting the much loved showcase of human tragedy/triumph that is the open mic at the Seattle Comedy Underground

Friday the 20th- I will be back at the Annex Theatre for the final show of Not Pants!

Please check out my calendar for more details and updates.

Please consider supporting live performance and attending one of these shows, attend all five and I will make you a present.

xoxo,

Emmett Montgomery

As my paint stained hands clutch the scissors I try to ignore the stare of their dead paper eyes as I cut them free. The smell of glue is in the air as I attach them, front and back, to the bag that will be their home. The only thing missing in their lives is the  hand of a stranger that will make them dance and live and love.

In addition to t-shirts I have been making puppets all weekend. I plan on doing a run of five of each design. Currently I have a clown and a unicorn and there will be more to follow. Because of the nature of how I make them each one is unique and special to me. All are handmade and have their own name. A pair would be an excellent aid in telling knock knock jokes. I hope to have them on my site for sale at the beginning of november, but I will be taking some on the road with me to Utah and will bring the survivors back to Seattle. If you would like one let me know. And of course, I also have t-shirts for sale.

With the help of my good friend and arts and crafts goddess, Mara Rivet, I now have t-shirts featuring the teddy bear with spider legs.  They come in a variety of colors and sizes. Especially if the color is brown and the size is large. If the size and color don’t suit you, I also have patches that can be transplanted to whatever fancy piece of clothing you desire and still be one of the cool kids. I hope to have my shop up in November but if you would like one now let me know.

For the past eight years or so, I have been mounting my drawings on paper bags to make puppets. I was awful at this in kindergarten, I think I am pretty good at it now. The puppets are colored with watercolor pencils on tracing paper attached to cardstock. Please visit this gallery and enjoy.

In the last year a lot of my doodles have grown insect legs, I am trying to collect them all and will be updating this gallery periodically. Please visit often and keep them company.