Emmett Montgomery

Teller of Jokes, Maker of Things

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    • November 2011
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Art Zone profile featuring me telling jokes and my cat being fat.

« October 24, 2011 »


Art Zone with Nancy Guppy on the Seattle Channel is a show that highlights pretty much everything that is great about Seattle’s art and performance scene. They start talking about me at the two minute mark but I recommend watching the whole program especially the slow motion lesbian vampires amazing film festival ad directly following my segment.

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Two of my favorite jokes, please feel free to judge me.

« November 22, 2010 »

Some of my jokes are like children to me. There are mothers out there that think their children are extremely gifted even though others don’t see it. I am that type of mother and these are my children.

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I tell Jokes and sometimes people laugh

« November 15, 2010 »

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Seattle Komedy Documentary Final Screenings 10/16-10/18

« October 14, 2010 »

Seattle Komedy Documentary
Fri 10/15-Sun 10/17
9:30 Film, Q&A after
Central Cinema
1411 21 Avenue Seattle WA 98122

http://www.central-cinema.com/

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random gems from the video vault #2: Bridgetown ’08 After Party

« October 6, 2010 »



This is from the first annual Bridgetown Comedy Festival afterparty at the house of festival founder Andy Wood. The brilliant and drunk James Adomian is doing an impression of the brilliant and eccentric Brody Stevens. I have no idea what I am doing in the background, most likely I am being drunk and brilliant and eccentric or at least two of those things.

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random gems from the video vault #1: Beirut Video

« October 5, 2010 »



During my first trip to New York in 2007, I was asked by the people I was staying with if I wanted to be part of a music video. We went to a church in Brooklyn and spent the next couple hours shooting this single shot “organic” video. I make my appearance at 2:39. It was an interesting experience.

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I have missed you

« August 8, 2010 »


I would like to apologize about the lack of updates on the site over the last couple of months. Shortly after the Bridgetown Comedy Festival I was working on a new routine inside my practice box and managed to get locked inside for several months. Fortunately I was able to continue performing but the internet connection inside the box was pretty awful. Now that I have escaped please enjoy this recording of one of my sets from the box and expect more posts about the past few months and what is happening in the future.

 knock knock jokes and other wonders [5:02m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
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Joke Church

« February 11, 2010 »

Joke Church with Emmett Montgomery from

Sometimes I have so much sharing inside me, I just have to let it all out.

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Happy Holidays

« December 1, 2009 »

The Holidays are upon us and I wish everyone well. Please enjoy this christmas card made by artist and animator Mark Allendar AKA Pastey Boy. It is my honor to be the voice of the Christmas tree and I hope it fills you with Christmas spirit.

Filed under: moving pictures,sharing by Emmett
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The Phrase Off! Ross vs. Dan

« November 27, 2009 »

“The phrase off” is a jokewriting competition in which two competitors are given the first half of a phrase and a few hours to finish it. A panel of audience judges decides which phrase is funnier in a best 3 out of 5 competition. My good friend Chas and I came up with the idea during a night out when Chas stated how lazy his dick was. We went back and forth for hours

My dick is so lazy…

it got fired from a blowjob

it gets a soft on

it doesn’t nail chicks but occasionally it thumbtacks a girl

…that is how lazy my dick is.

after hours of this we came up with rules and I started hosting “phrase offs” around town and at Laffhole.

They are always a good time please enjoy this example featuring comedians Ross Parsons and Dan Carroll.

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