Emmett Montgomery

I would like to apologize about the lack of updates on the site over the last couple of months. Shortly after the Bridgetown Comedy Festival I was working on a new routine inside my practice box and managed to get locked inside for several months. Fortunately I was able to continue performing but the internet connection inside the box was pretty awful. Now that I have escaped please enjoy this recording of one of my sets from the box and expect more posts about the past few months and what is happening in the future.

 

 knock knock jokes and other wonders [5:02m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Joke Church with Emmett Montgomery from

Sometimes I have so much sharing inside me, I just have to let it all out.

The Holidays are upon us and I wish everyone well. Please enjoy this christmas card made by artist and animator Mark Allendar AKA Pastey Boy. It is my honor to be the voice of the Christmas tree and I hope it fills you with Christmas spirit.

“The phrase off” is a jokewriting competition in which two competitors are given the first half of a phrase and a few hours to finish it. A panel of audience judges decides which phrase is funnier in a best 3 out of 5 competition. My good friend Chas and I came up with the idea during a night out when Chas stated how lazy his dick was. We went back and forth for hours

My dick is so lazy…

it got fired from a blowjob

it gets a soft on

it doesn’t nail chicks but occasionally it thumbtacks a girl

…that is how lazy my dick is.

after hours of this we came up with rules and I started hosting “phrase offs” around town and at Laffhole.

They are always a good time please enjoy this example featuring comedians Ross Parsons and Dan Carroll.

Nocturnal Teddy Bear Visitation from Emmett Montgomery on Vimeo.
Occasionally people ask me where I get my jokes from. I don’t really have an answer. The most plausible explanation is that there must be some strange planet out there sending me signals from space. “Joke from Planet Nightmare” is a work in progress based on this idea. This would be one of those signals. My good friend Chas Roberts made this video staring the much loved teddy bear with spider legs using my words and drawings.

home invasion

Years ago there was a series of break ins in my apartment complex. My roommate actually walked in on a transient attempting to rob us. The only thing he had found of value to steal was a Neil Diamond album and a half pouch of rolling tobacco. I am glad he didn’t mess with our furniture. I don’t know what we would have done without our milk crates.

hands full of hope

Clown

Final version of “Clown Car” that filmmaker Clint Berquist and I submitted to 2008 Georgetown Super 8 film festival.

My friend Clint Berquist and I wanted to make a film for the Georgetown Super 8 Film Festival. This was shot on a digital camera then converted to Super 8. We decided to reenact one of my jokes using my puppets. We chose a joke I had written for my mom for Mother’s Day. Filmed at Re-bar, Coti James and Danielle Radford helped man the puppets and clown car.